Who's the Final Girl: Insidious 2
@fkmuse is back and is still playing games...
Conventional gambling wisdom says to never bet against the house, but since this is about demons, I’m betting on the mother. She’s my pick to be The Final Girl. This time I’m watching Insidious 2, Electric Boogaloo. At least, I hoped it there’d be at least some amount of boogaloo.
Normally, I don’t want to watch anything done by the people who do Paranormal Activity, but I’ll give this a shot. Woe be unto you “Saw-people” if this is terrible.
I was not disappointed, only a few minutes in before the first cheap scare. I’m not sure why they cast the Queen of Hearts (Once's Barbara Hershey) and she hasn’t ripped out a single heart. You think he’d be up for making more ghosts one crushed organ at a time, but not a single corpse.
What would really be nice is if it didn’t feel like the mash-up of Paranormal Activity and Saw. It’s like the two camps just couldn’t decide on how they were going to shoot the movie. The shift from cinematic to documentary is jarring to say the very least. Whomever struck that compromise needs to seriously think about their life-choices up to this point.
About halfway through, they start to explain some things, but that’s where it gets really confusing. Ghost mob boss? She just tells the other ghosts what to do. First there was a she, now there’s a he. Did he kill for the she? How is anyone supposed to keep all of this straight? So, this guy kills people for his mother. Why does every movie I ever watch seem to have a serious Norman Bates kind of vibe. Is it me, do I have mummy issues?
Seriously, ghosts don’t need to use the can and string properly? How do I get these awesome powers? I’d love to save the extra money on my phone bill.
Long story short: Being a medium sucks because you will get messages/information that you won’t understand for 20 or 30 years. I was wrong about who The Final Girl was, though, if my significant other gets haunted, I will throw a tea kettle at them, no hesitation.
Follow @fkmuse on twitter