Who's The Final Girl: Freddy's Dead - The Final Nightmare

poster for Freddy's Dead The Final Nightmare

@fkmuse places her bets and plays with the 6th NMOES film - Freddy's Dead...

As I am usually almost a day late and a dollar short, my Final Girl for Women in Horror Month is Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Freddy's Dead. It’s brought to us, for better or worse, by Tank Girl's director Rachel Talalay in an attempt to bring the wildly popular Nightmare on Elm Street franchise to a thrilling conclusion. Based on the title alone, I’m already ruling out Freddy being the Final Girl. Besides, you’re not allowed to be the monster and the Final Girl, right? I checked rule 4.

The opening scenes have me confused. Am I watching NOES or some teenage rendition of I Am Legend? Wait, "Every town has an Elm Street." Good thing they didn’t choose a more area specific street. This movie would never get made. Nightmare on Bleeker Street...Thanks Freddy now we're off!

So, Before I get too far in, and the action starts, I'm saying Ethel played by 90's edgiest mom Roseanne will survive this. Because...reasons. Listen, if I have to start listing off reasons why Roseanne would survive a nightmare world driven by a burnt up sociopath bent on killing kids, you obviously haven’t seen Roseanne. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

Now that you’re back: In a world where Springwood, Ohio has no kids, teenagers, or anyone under the age of 21 you'd think every day would be a holiday, right? No little brats breaking windows, cheering for their school teams in drunken fashion, or coming home late at night being escorted by the cops for what can only be politely referred to as “The Incident” until the end of time.

Except all these dreams get ruined if Dr. Maggie's little day trip to help her newest patient is any indication. All adult time apparently knocks more than a few screws loose around here. Isn't it nice how some of the locals seem to know Maggie and Mr. Doe here? (Can someone get Tank Girl? We'll surely get rid of Freddy then!) Or at least have an epic one liner battle.

Here's some touching moments that seek to somehow humanize Freddy and lightly stomp on some of his previous back story. Alice Cooper cameo is awesome and a really good point in the whole this made Freddy bad, because that being the son of 100 maniacs wasn't enough...right? Throw a wrench in the whole Nature/Nurture argument because Freddy had it bad all around, just in case you were starting to harbor any fan fiction-esque fantasies of Freddy Krueger being woefully misunderstood. Hold on. Rewind that. Who blinked and totally missed it? (Along with Johnny Depp on TV earlier, did he not die in Elm Street the First? Twice?)

Here's where I change my bet...(Sorry Roseanne!) I think Freddy's newly "discovered" child will be the Final Girl. What girl can't suddenly master dream powers, make a few one liners and totally "kill" her dad? Even with his creative use of the "cutting edge" power glove and love for Nintendo's graphics - By the way did any of you play the Nightmare on Elm Street video game? It's time for dad to bow out of the series that makes meditation a weapon somehow?

All in a day’s work for Maggie - I mean Katherine Kruger. Never mind her patients kind of died except for one...because he had his tray table up.

Lacie Grayson

Twitter: @fkmuse

Image: IMDb

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